As I have been hinting, I actually have had something lined up for a big finish towards the end of the year, and now I am going to start. This is the goal we have been working towards and dream of achieving.
Now, before we get into it, as always I have to make a proper introduction and qualify my terms lest certain of my friends rip organs I am fond of off my body. Like I said at the beginning of this whole dating thing my goal is not to teach you how to simply get laid. The fact is, I have never been very good at the whole “one night stand” pick up thing. We are trying to get you a girlfriend. Trust me when I say this is more than enough for most of you. If you want to know how to pick up a different girl every night look for other blogs. Personally I think if you are still reading this you really don’t have the skills, looks, or alcohol tolerance to pull that off anyway.
So basically we are talking about going in for the first kiss/makeout session. I don’t think I will try to talk you past 2nd or 3rd base unless there is a serious demand. I am not creating that kind of blog. I am sure you should be able to find some kind of site that has material of an adult nature SOMEWHERE on the web that can help you (although most women don’t really do what porn girls do, so look for something a little more instructive that outright porn).
First kiss is important, if only because it helps you define your desires and intentions to her. It says “I am here to be your boyfriend, not your friend.” Girls in general are shockingly insecure, and if you don’t go for the kiss they tend to think that there is something wrong with them or you or both. If you wait too long you WILL get a “Let’s be friends speech.” If you go in too early you will (most likely) creep her out and she will bail.
The good guideline should be sometime between the 3rd and 5th date. Kissing can occur on the 1st or 2nd date, but in that case it should be her who initiates the action, not you. If you go five full dates with no kiss, lose her number. It isn’t worth your time and/or money to keep pursuing it, as she will reject you.
The thing to remember about dating is it’s not like a marathon where if you just keep moving your feet you will eventually get to the finish line. It is more like a full 40 man raid attempt on a World of Warcraft boss. Every attempt requires everyone doing all things perfectly, and all you need is one mis-key, bad placement, or minor mistake to wipe the whole raid and force you to restart completely. Even if everyone does everything perfectly you can still have all kinds of bad RNG mess you up. This is the kill shot, and the timing on this has to be good. If not, run back from the graveyard and line up another shot on the next girl. (Classically Trained Raider image courtesy of the World of Warcraft t-shirt category).
By the way, my friend Dave and I have been doing the “Who would win” game via text lately and it’s really fun, so I think from now on I will end each post with one for you. I will report my personal answer plus anyone who wants to comment on the next post. Here is the first:
Who would win, Skynet from Terminator vs the Justice League of America without Superman?